Happy Cliché Monday to you! I hope you had a wonderful, productive weekend!
Please click on the play button above to listen to this post or continue to read below…
Last week I shared my thoughts on the subject of the cliché “It’s Just Not My Thing”. In a nutshell, I discussed how although many people “want” and realize the need for change in their personal results, be it…relationships, finances, career, etc., most people are reluctant to try new activities because they feel that “it’s just not them”.
In the article, I went on to discuss that in order to see the new results that you want in your life, you need to move from where you currently are (mentally, physically, emotionally), to where you need to be.
In order to accomplish this, you need to entertain and apply new habits, patters, behaviors that are currently not part of your daily activity and those that you currently do not see as things that you like or enjoy, or things that are “just not you”.
So today, I wanted to follow up with a similar Cliché that I hear all of the time. I think that it is the big sister of “it’s just not my thing!” And that phrase is “I’ll Do It My Way”.
When I hear this, three very close and dear people come to mind. These three people many times have expressed dissatisfaction in some area of their results in some form or another. They have made mention of their need for new health habits, physical fitness, careers, business strategies, etc.
They have all gotten really excited about the upcoming journey on their plan for their “new life”. They talk about the new clothes that they are going to wear as a result of losing weight, the meals they are going to eat, the things they are going to buy, the services they are going to provide…
Naturally, in my excitement, I can’t help but to offer my assistance and maintain that I will help them be accountable and push them to their goals. I’ve actually gone as far as providing individual assignments and specific dates for their attainment and timelines to provide positive feedback. After all, that is what excites me most, helping others realize new heights in their results.
BAM! In an instant, an immediate backlash…”NO! I don’t need your help! I have to go at my own pace. I’ll Do It My Way!”
Ask yourself…Do I backlash against “the push” from others? Do I fight getting out of my comfort zone? I am a victim of “my own way” in any areas of my life? Do I depend on doing it “my way” and end up finding the same results? Am I in the same place (financially, spiritually, emotionally…) that I was five years ago? If the answer to ANY of these questions is “Yes”…
Hello!?! Wake up! Stop kidding yourselves! Don’t you realize that all of your current results are because you have already done it “your way”? Don’t kid yourself. If you continue to do it “Your Way” you will continue to see the same exact results over and over again.
Then what? Insanity…doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result!
And by the way…don’t fool yourself into thinking that everything in your life is exactly the way you want it to be. Don’t convince yourself that everything is already perfect and that taking on an additional task or habit is optional or just something for people who are missing something in their life.
If you think or feel this way, then you have become complacent. You have settled. You have stopped challenging yourself. You are no longer growing.
Also, think about this…ask yourself this question…if money, time and resources were not an issue, and you absolutely knew, with complete certainty, that you could have anything, I mean anything that you want, would you have the exact same life that you have now?
I didn’t think so. So maybe there is a challenge still out there worthy of your time and effort.
Okay, so I digressed a little bit…
Take a look at this picture and digest it for a minute. This is what I came up with to illustrate what I think the problem is with the “I’ll do it my way” attitude.
In the bottom left cloud you can see “Your Way”… this is your paradigm…or your normal behaviors, habits, thoughts, ideas, actions…this cloud points directly to the circle on the right which equates to “Your Results”.
“Your Way” can only provide you with “Your Results”.
Notice, at the same time, you will also see that “Your Way” cannot provide you with what you want…or your “New Results” (demonstrated as the X’ed out arrow in red).
The only way to attain “New Results” is to change from “Your Way” to “The Way”.
You see, results are always the effect. In order to change the effect, you MUST change the cause or “Your Way”. You must have different inputs to acquire or achieve different outputs. You must sow what you wish to reap.
I think you and I can both agree that a farmer would be absolutely crazy if he continued to plant corn seed and actually expected to harvest apples.
In essence, by expecting new results in your life while continuing to do it “Your Way”, you are expecting apples when planting corn seed.
So I guess the natural question would be…how do you move from “Your Way” to “The Way”?
- First, determine your desired results (in any area…Health, Wealth, Spirituality, Relationships, etc.)
- Write them down in exact detail (What, when, why)…the “how” will come in a bit.
- Find a person who has the results that you desire
- Study them, talk with them, follow them, examine what they do or did to acquire the results they have, ask them for their help, subscribe to their coaching program (this will be your “How” or “The Way”)
- Find supporting material (books, magazines, videos, etc.) Study that too!
- Then, and most importantly…APPLY what you have learned! Over and over!
Initially, the ideas and concepts, the behaviors and actions may actually seem simple. You may find that all you need to do to get started is to…read for 15 minutes a day, start walking everyday for ten minutes, stop drinking soda, start a blog, make a video, document a hobby, write a journal, make an extra sale, make a follow up call to a customer, say a prayer…
But trust me, no matter how simple the task, the application will be difficult. Why? Simply because those action items are not part of your normal routine. You are not in the habit of doing those things.
So when you hit that defining moment…after the initial excitement of the idea has died…after the feeling that nothing can stop you “this time” has subsided…when the “mental demons” make their way back into your life and try to suck you back to “Your Way”…
…when you have reached what I refer to as “The 1 second to Success”, the 1 second it will take you to either make the decision and commit to your desired path…or to fall back on old habits…break through! Make it happen! Fight through it. Fight your old conditioning. Fight your old habits. Fight your old paradigm. Fight “Your Way!”, and Just do it, NOW!
Once you do that, you will be on your way to a new and marvelous change. A personal change. A change in your results. A change in your confidence.
And the great news…it won’t be long before the new and difficult action items become your habits…you won’t have to “think” about doing them any more. They will become a normal part of your every day behavior.
So go out and challenge “your way” today. Seek the results that you truly desire. Align your habits with those results. Live the life you truly want!
And don’t forget to comment on your thoughts and or experiences with the subject. I love to hear your feedback.
Have a great day!
P.S. Expert studies show that it only takes 21 days for something to become a habit. Are you willing to put in 21 days to see the positive change in your life that you seek?