How My Battle with Low Self Esteem Can Help You with Yours

05 Oct

Self esteem is something that I’ve personally been working on for a long time.  I recognized a self image flaw in my personality some time ago that needed be addressed and changed.  I knew that in order to flourish as person, father, son, husband, brother, friend, I would need to rid myself of this undesirable flaw. 

Just yesterday, I listened to a segment on self esteem with Julia Espey and the world renowned Dr. Joe Rubino.  I was so moved by the interview that I wanted to quickly send out a message to share a personal story.  In addition, I want to highlight some of the major takeaways in developing a high self esteem and encourage you listen and perhaps enhance your life like it did. 

As I mentioned in the first sentence, self esteem has been a challenge of mine for some time.  Although many people have told me that I am outgoing, confident, have presence, am a social butterfly and other nice compliments, the truth is that I feel that I have been a timid and somewhat insecure person for almost all of my life. 

Until recently (after years of studying, talking, writing, soul searching, etc.), I never felt that anything was good enough, that my efforts were insignificant.  I was always seeking some kind of approval from family friends and acquaintances.  Truth be told, I never felt that I was good enough. 

I secretly masked my fears for years in the loud, outgoing and sometimes obnoxious person who many people came to know and love.  Living with this “paradox” of a personality since I was a child took a significant toll.  As a side “benefit” and in my futile attempts to calm the self esteem demon inside of me, I turned to alcohol for years. 

Most people only saw that happy drunk, the funny drunk, the entertaining drunk.  But deep down, in the pit of my soul suppressed by the façade and the alcohol was an angry, unhappy, empty, scared child hoping to be saved. 

I cried and cried for help in all of the wrong ways.  I turned to those closest to me for help…my parents, my sisters, my wife.  I wanted them to help.  I wanted them to make me feel better. 

Nobody could relate nor understand, especially since my cries came in fits of ruthless sarcasm, rage, indignation and drunken anger.  I turned everyone away and then blamed them because couldn’t see the helpless child screaming for help through all of the blinding “smoke”. 

As you can imagine, I drained all those around me and my relationships suffered.  I suffered. 

You know, its funny how things happen…I had told others hundreds of times before (as if I knew something)…”The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result…”  Yet here I was trying to gain support for my issues in the wrong way, over and over and over again. 

I finally heard my own message.  It was then that I realized that I needed to change my approach.  Ultimately, I realized that I needed to change. 

So I went on a trek, a mission, a soul search.  The result…after about 150 books, 50 seminars, traveling thousands of miles, watching and listening to hundreds of hours of video and audio programs, daily meditations, weekly mastermind calls, tens of thousands of dollars, and a whole bunch of other efforts, I finally “saw” the mess that I had made and realized that it all stemmed from my low self esteem.

Little by little, I started to change the image I had of myself.  I started to manage my thought patterns, my beliefs…I changed my behaviors.  Then, when I was able to feel a little bit better “in my own skin”, I made small efforts with others…first with my wife…then with my daughter…then my parents…then my sisters and on and on. 

The result?  A new and improved me…new and improved relationships, circumstances, results.  A new and improved life.  Peace and calm (most of the time). 

Yes, I will admit that there are still times where I feel empty, where I feel challenged, where I feel “not worthy”, but I know now how to limit those times and how to move beyond.

The way I see it, this self esteem stuff is an ongoing, never ending process.  There will always be challenges.  There will always be doubts.  Our task it to continue to push forward and become stronger step by step, each and every day. 

That’s the commitment I’ve made.  And I hope it’s the commitment you make as well.  That’s why I continue to listen to and share items such as this interview with Julia Espey and Dr. Rubino. 

I hope it enhances your life.  I hope it helps you realized that the answer to all of your “problems” lie within.  I hope it makes you feel better about yourself.  I hope you identify at least 1 thing that will improve your relationships, circumstances or current situation. 

Fortunately for you…it won’t require reading all the books, spending all the money on countless audio and video trainings, sacrificing all the time…as a matter of fact it won’t cost you anything but an open mind and about 40 minutes of your time. 

Once you take the time to listen to this interview, there is no doubt in my mind that you will have a map for self esteem success. 

If you’re curious what you will learn…here are a few things what you will find inside…

  • 3 Ways to Champion Self Esteem
  • The single most important driving force for attracting abundance into your life
  • The 3 things parents can do to promote a healthy self esteem for their children
  • The highly guarded secret to staying self-motivated.  Have this and you will create the actions that produce life changing results that you truly desire
  • The 5 Essential Components of Self Esteem
  • Identifying the destructive childhood experiences that shape the damaging experiences you have in your adult life…and how to stop them dead in their tracks 
  • How to lead your children even if you have your own self esteem issues
  • And much, much more…


I’m sure by now you are curious and want the link for where to find this interview.  First let me caution you.  The site this is posted on is called “Single Mom Talk Radio”.  Please do not be deterred if you are not a single mom. 

This interview is for EVERYONE!

Okay, with that being said, here you go…click on the link below to access the interview…

Self Esteem Interview with Julia Espey Dr. Joe Rubino



P.S.  If you are a single mom, or a parent looking for some answers to your parenting challenges, get two free chapters of Julia Espey’s best selling parenting book “If I Were Your Daddy

If I Were Your Daddy Book

P.P.S.  If you want to study further with Dr. Joe Rubino, you can check out his Ultimate Self Esteem Formula

P.P.P.S.  You can also see the impact a healthy self esteem has had on my own parenting life be reading this very emotional poem I wrote for my daughter Brittney.

By the way…just in case you are wondering, I am currently not in any type of financial relationship with Julia or Dr. Rubino so I do not receive any compensation for referring these resources.  I provide solely as a benefit and resource to you, my reader.

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Leave a Reply


  1. Jan

    October 10, 2011 at 12:07 pm

    Great article – from the heart – thank you for sharing

  2. Andrew Ramirez

    October 10, 2011 at 12:24 pm

    Jan, thank you for your comments. Have a great day! AR.

  3. Alma Partida

    November 9, 2011 at 10:37 am

    Great article. Love you cousin.

  4. Andrew Ramirez

    November 9, 2011 at 11:02 am

    Thanks for the Comment Alma! I’m glad you enjoyed. Have a great day! AR.

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